Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
