seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
