Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
