I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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