How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
