you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
