I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
