just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
