She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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