You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
