You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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