Tell her she can't have a vagina
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
