The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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