you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He passed out mid-signature
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
