my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
is it fun? or sober?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
