it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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