Cold hands, warm shart.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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