The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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