He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
