Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
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Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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