I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she pinky promised me she was 18
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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