I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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