let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize