if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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