If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
