oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
