i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
