I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Come back. Shots need mouths.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
