I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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