I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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