i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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