eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
