ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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