That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
