They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
