i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
