He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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