Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
