At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
