wrigley field is MILF paradise
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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