Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so let's talk penis.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
