Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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