Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
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