It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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