you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
