I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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