so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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