I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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