there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
