can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
