I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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