Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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