i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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