She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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