Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
