everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood and glitter go together right?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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