Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
why do cheetos always look like penises
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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