Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
