What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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