She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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