Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
